You made absolutely valid points that it’s virtually impossible to take war to. I just have to say, true indeed.
Starting with ‘monogamy being patriarchal,’ I agree. It is!
I think I should first make clear where I stand. In a monogamous marriage, I hold the opinion that it is patriarchal. And the man is the head and the leader of the house.
Now I use ‘wife’ and not ‘woman’.
Because they’re two different concept.
Having said that, I also consider myself a feminist. I am an egalitarian.
All humans, regardless of your race and gender, should be afforded equal rights and opportunities.
I believe, however, within the tenets of marriage, there are different rules to play by. And there should.
Just as a workplace operates on different sets of principle from a religious gathering. All facet of life can’t operate on the same value and principles.
But there should be a universal guiding principle that governs and protects our fundamental human rights.
And in the case of marriage, even though I believe the man is the head of the home, it’s not acceptable for the man to be a totalitarian dick.
His position as the leader should not be use to imprison the wife.
As a monogamous male who believe the man is the head, I treat my partner as an equal human being. I respect her and support her choices.
We seek each others opinion and counsel on things. She has her career and am supportive of that.
We seek consent from each other on certain things not because we’re slaves. But because we respect each other. And it’s the core value and belief we hold of what our marriage is.
And that is, two will live as one. Because they’ve become one, indeed.
It’s no longer two lives seeking individual success. It’s now two lives working together to better each other.
It is this commitment that creates depth. Which enables us humans to reach beneath the depth of intimacy and connection we’re capable of.
It’s here we find the true meaning and value in COMMITMENT, FIDELITY, INTEGRITY, SACRIFICE, LOVE, DISCIPLINE, HONOUR, etc… you name them.
Now am not saying that we haven’t abuse the institute of this model of marriage (monogamy).
Most men have used it to abuse women. Enslaved them and ripped them of their opportunities and stifled their potential. This is true.
And it is why when the movement of feminism started, it caught fire—rapidly. Especially in our times.
So my friend, my argument is this, there’s so much, I believe, we can gain from monogamy done right, than polygamy done right. Because there are core human value like sacrifice, fidelity, commitment, devotion, integrity, etc. and above all, depth, that would suffer if we subscribe to the school of thought of an ‘open relationship’.
Having said that, the problem isn’t with this school of thoughts or ideology, but with us humans and how we handle them.
We are greedy. Our selfish desires are insatiable.
Our greatest talent is to abuse. We abuse everything. If it’s good, we make it bad. And if it’s bad, we make it worse.
That’s why Sartre said “Hell is other people.”
