It doesn’t matter whether your friend is insecure or assured. What he said women need is true.

If he hasn’t gotten his act together, he can be most confident man on the planet, approach all the ladies, hook up with many, but women will eventually settle down with one that has his act together. That is, like you said, stability.

So insecurity doesn’t matter. At least, not to the bottom line. He still got a valid point about what women want.

It’s now left for him to get to work and get his shit together.

And yes, a man views his worth through the work of his own hands.