I think that’s the answer to this conundrum. You may have found the answer yourself.

I’ve often said, “sometimes, it’s not what was said, but how it’s said.” It’s the mannerism that surrounds a gift that determines how it’ll be received.

Giving itself, though a good thing, always create the exact feeling you described. A feeling of better to lesser. Haves and have not. Sufficient and insufficient. We can’t do anything about it. Leftover, however, just makes it a bit worse.

I remember one time, in front of a supermarket, where I was begging for arms, a lady gave me 20 cents. That day, people gave me far more. But I appreciated hers more, and today after many years, I remember her 20 cent. And even her face.

Because when she gave me, she was pained. She said she didn’t have anything left on her. And she knows it’s nothing.
She was so pained it seemed she’d cry. I felt she was in much pain than myself. I almost hugged her, smiled and told her, I appreciate it regardless.

So sometimes, though giving leftovers can be condescending, the mannerism and heart posture in which it’s done, changes the outcome for the receiver.