How To Handle Your Emotions and Triggers
An essay on emotions and experience
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By Benedicta Chiwendu
The day we separate ourselves from our emotions is the day we stop being human.
Our emotion is the reason why we can form relationships and create bonds with others. However, of all of humanity’s pain, the worst kind is emotional. Makes you want to believe we’re better off without emotions.
We’ve all had experiences that keep us stuck.
Everybody else has gotten over it except us. Everyone else has moved on but we don’t quite know where to go from there. And when we see something similar to what we’ve been through we respond to it not knowing we’re actually responding to the trauma.
An employee who’s dealt with a boss with an overbearing attitude, who sees nothing but his plans and policies; would shush everybody at work speed talking them into silence, the reaction of his employees at first may be to endure and keep calm after all he is the boss, but there’d always be a growing resentment underneath the silence that only reveals itself when frustration reaches its final stage.
Such an employee might find himself in later stages of life always in defense mode.
Always feels like someone is trying to make him sabotage himself and he’s not letting any of that. Whether we accept it or not, everything we are going through has an effect on us. We didn’t have boundaries until we began to see that people aren’t always who we think them to be. We usually didn’t act a certain kind of way until something happened that forced us to act that way.
For a woman who has had to deal with men who take more than they give in relationships, she would spend so much energy within a short period in the relationship that before a year is ending she is already stretched to maximum capacity. And just like a rubber band after reaching maximum capacity, she snaps. The problem is that we don’t know when to stop. We keep enduring things beyond our limits. The tolls of constant withdrawals with no deposit would leave you depleted.
The effect of this is that in the long run, she would be reluctant to give any part of herself…
