DALL•E

How I Plan to Survive a Zombie Apocalypse

Let's have some fun

Door rattles.
Glass shatters.
A guttural groan echoes through the hallway.

I’m holding a chair, not a weapon, and my heart is pounding like a drum. The undead are closing in. But this isn’t real. Not yet. It’s just my TV blaring an episode of All of Us Are Dead – Netflix’s high-school-zombie-meets-utter-chaos thriller. After hours of watching teens fight for their lives with improvised weapons, I’ve decided — I’ll be ready.

Life already feels like one bad lab experiment away from a zombie apocalypse. A virus here, a mutation there, and boom! The neighbors are chewing on your ankles. So, I’ve crafted a foolproof survival plan.

Here’s how I’m going to make it.

Step 1: Don’t Be a Hero

Heroes die. They always die.

The brave ones run into the horde to save someone, and then – chomp! Not me. I’ll be the quiet person blending into the shadows. If someone screams for help, I’ll throw them a broom and wish them luck. Harsh? Maybe. But self-preservation is my mantra.

Step 2: Find a Weapon

I’m not swinging bats like those Netflix teens.