Hmmm!
We learn more from failing than we do from winning. That is, it’s from our manifold pains we gather seeds of wisdom.

And from the things you’ve been through, you’ve acquired a great deal of self knowledge, Mel. Reading your story, I know it takes a lot of courage, to write this.

I’m glad too, that you’re learning to give yourself that which you never had; a fine mirror of love that reflects to you that you’re valuable and deeply loved.

But I wonder, if gaining this self understanding, coming to discover what it is you lacked that led to those many past relationships, and you trying to give yourself that love, will be enough.

I’m saying this for a reason. I know in society, we speak a lot of self love, and encouraging ourselves to look for it from within, but after many years of pondering this issue, I don’t believe it cures it. Correct me here if I’m wrong.

But there are times, where self love makes you happy and feel content, then there are times, when it feels like that hole in our hearts, that our parents never filled, is still there. And needs an external person to give us that.

That is, my point being, in spite of us loving ourselves, we still may yawn for the love of another. For that sweet, magically amazed gaze of a lover, as they stare into our eyes with wondrous delight, beholding our specialness; for a heart that can’t help but flutters at the thought of us, and sings honeyed words full of desire and passion.

I know this is public, but I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. Is being single and giving ourselves self-love enough to fill that hole or that need?