Who would you be if no one was watching?
I work at a very cool restaurant that rubs shoulders with the ancient Cathedrale di San Lorenzo in Centro Storico, Trapani, Sicily. The Corso, Vittorio Emanuel is busied every day with tourists as well as locals walking back and forth. At the end of this vintage street, stands Il Palazzo — an antique building with an old gigantic analogue clock that rings its bell every hour.
It just clocked 1 pm, and as usual, the bells were ringing loud, when a man completely absorbed and dancing to music from his headphone…
“What are you saying?” My mom shouted. “You’ve rejected the idea for years!”
I could barely look my mom in the eye. I was tired. Tired of everything. I’d lost my father. I’d lost my brother. My career wasn’t going anywhere. It’s a scary feeling. Knowing that nothing’s working. Knowing full well you’re wasting your life.
“I’m done,” I said softly with my best friend Eddie standing next to me. “Eddie and I are leaving.”
My mom, who’s never short on words, saw the look on my face and decided not to fight. She knew I couldn’t be persuaded.
I was chatting with a friend Michael Thompson and he mentioned how much he likes the African expressions I sprinkle into our conversations. To be honest, I’ve never really thought about it since I’m from Africa and what I say is what a lot of my people say. But it gave me the idea to put a collection of my favorite sayings in one place.
As Nigerians, we speak a lot of street slang, encoded with deep wisdom. Stuff about life and the hustle and bustle that comes with it. Like in a lot of places, especially in Nigeria, people…
“Life is lived forward but understood backward.”
— Soren Kierkegaard
The older we grow, the more things make sense. But we do not need to wait until it’s too late, to realize what isn’t worth our time and energy. We can learn from one another, and from those who’ve gone ahead of us.
I once knew a man who walked this path and knew to spend his life only on what truly mattered most. That man was my father. He might have lived a short life, but he lived paying attention to the important stuff.
He was a big role…
“The next time you lay hands on me, we’re done.”
When I was 16 years old, my dad found himself in a messy situation. Mom had just moved out. And this time, she was dead serious about not coming back. She’s had enough.
My dad had physically abused my mom. And mom wasn’t going to put up with that shit.
“When you acknowledge and take responsibility for what you’ve done, you know where to find me,” mom told him, slamming the door.
After a couple of nights of sleeping alone, that is if he did sleep at all, he eventually…
I’ve spent nearly a year writing on Medium, and within that time, earnings have fluctuated and writers have come and gone. Algorithm change seems to be the only thing constant. But the constant change in the Medium algorithm shouldn't be a deterrent in the long run. Maybe a delay, yes. But it should never stop you.
Allowing yourself, as a writer, to quit because the algorithm is continuously changing, means you haven't been on this planet long enough. If you have, then you’d know the only thing constant in this our world is change.
However, I understand the path to…
Six years ago, from a burning desire to craft a better life, I left my home in Africa — crossed the Sahara desert and rafted across the Mediterranean to Italy. Three days after I set foot on the shores of Italy, I celebrated my 25th birthday.
Today I am thirty-one — and it’s safe to say my expectations have been thoroughly disciplined after six years of diaspora. I’ve had plans that were adjusted, some cancelled and others that had to be replanned.
As I reminisce, I can’t help but wish I had done quite a number of things differently. I…
As Peter Drucker has said, “We live in the era of accelerated Change, overwhelming Complexity, tremendous Competition and lightning Communication”.
It’s becoming clearer and clearer with each passing day that in this era we need to be multi-talented and multi-skilled to be successful. Someone from The US can simply outsource a job or a simple task to a single mother in China or some young kid in Dehil or South Africa.
The world has changed — and so must we.
However, it takes more than hard skills to make it. There are other areas of skill that guarantees our success…
I am a writer! But whether I’ll be just another writer or a fulfilled writer will depend on what I deem, valuable. It’ll depend on what is my idea of a successful life. Does it involve prioritising only the financial gains of anything I set out to do — herding along with the world's definition of success. Or prioritising the joy and satisfaction that comes from it — living life on my own terms?
Most times it’s hard to find the right answer to some of life's questions. But if I’ve learned a thing or two in my thirty-plus years…
As lovers, we are poor at communicating with our significant other. Communication has been found to be the major cause of most problems in relationships.
The frustrated lady, trying to communicate with her partner says to him, “you are never here. You never take out the trash. I am the only one who seems to be keeping this relationship alive.”
The gentleman is baffled and wonders; “then what the hell have I been doing all along? I am here when I can. I go to work and have to do this and that. You are just been insensitive and ungrateful.”